Daddy, what did you bring me?

So here is something I just thought of, how do I handle souvenirs?  The last time I crossed multiple states (mid 90’s move from San Fran back home), I grabbed a few little souvenirs from every state.

This time it will not just be shot glasses and cigarette lighters.  Now I have a family to think of.  And a little swag will go a long way towards healing the resentment that childless camping will cause.  Yes, I will bribe my children with knick-knacks.  Who the hell wouldn't? ;-)

Buying these things will be great fun but they better be pretty damn small.  As it is, I pretty much fill all of my luggage with necessities for the trip (food, water, skivvies, etc.) 

So here are a couple of options I am thinking of:

1)    Leave an extra bag empty for stuff.  Unless I plan to forgo clothing, I don’t know where the space would come from.  I added a luggage rack and a sissy bar bag since the last camping trip, but I will need to take more food for the long haul.  I guess I could add a tank bag or something, but damn, I’m already overpacked.

2)    Shove the damn things wherever they might fit and then UPS them several times throughout the trip.

3)    Combination of 1 and 2.

I guess it will have to be option 3.  I think I will just have to leave one of my saddlebags half empty and then mark a few Pack and Send places along the trip routes. 

At the end of the debate season, I leave you with some of my favorite lyrics from the Avett Brothers: Head full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise,

            When nothing is owed or deserved or expected

And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected

If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected

Decide what to be and go be it

Putting It All on the Road

On August 16^th, I did my first camping ride. It was only for one night as the goal was to discover what I didn't know about motorcycle camping. Here is the rundown.

==

Thursday afternoon, I got home from work, loaded the bike and was on the road by 3:15.

I loaded up my saved route map from google maps and mounted my phone to the handlebars so I could see it. When I turned on the GPS antennae I could easily see my position as a blue arrow cruising along my intended path.

Here is the route I took:

I headed up Meuschke, left on 2920 and then North, on country roads to Magnolia. Riding into Magnolia from a totally different direction was a strange experience.  Almost felt like seeing it for the first time. What a great ride. Aside from being hot as hell, the scenery was beautiful and traffic was very light.

After that it was the winding backroads of the Sam Houston Forest. I should have taken more pictures. It was simply beautiful with tall pine trees and shady glens. The temp must have been 10 degrees cooler among the foliage. The roads were surprisingly good.

I arrived at Lake Stubblefield Recreation Area around 6:00. I stopped to read the rules at the entrance and then did a few quick passes of the park. The only other people there were the park hosts. It is easy to understand why. It was ****ing hot. No breeze.

I always have some anxiety when first arriving to a park. I mean nervous-to-the-point-of- shaking anxiety. I don’t know why. It really affected how I set things up. I screwed around with unpacking until I had crap strewn all over the ground. What I should have done is grabbed clothes, gone to the bathroom and put on shorts. Instead I pitched my tent in jeans and a t-shirt.  I was hot enough to burst into flames. It sucked.

Once the tent was up I was able to change into some shorts. Much better.

Okay, the tent is up, I had some water, time to fish. I grabbed my collapsible rod and tackle and walked to the very small spot in between the trees where I could fish. Oh shit. I forgot the hot dogs that I usually use for catfish bait. Dammit! I tried some crappie bait with absolutely no luck at all. I had the right tackle just the wrong bait. It may have been more a condition of heat though. The Camphost mentioned that he had no luck either and that, he said, was a rare thing.

Ideally I should have scouted the park better to find clearer shoreline. It’s always better to be able to work a shoreline instead of being relegated to one spot on the lake.

After no luck fishing, it was dinnertime. I brought a couple options. Military MREs and dehydrated pouch meals. I always use MREs for camping because the food is fairly good and the calories are high. The ones I brought were pretty old though. I thought I might test out my new stove and cook up some of the powdered chow. Chicken Enchilada. Boil the water, put it in the bag and let it sit.

First bite. How can Mexican food be so completely bland? Well I had a cure for that. Time to crack open the MRE. Each one has a spice pack. Mine had ground red pepper and salt. Perfect. But too much of good thing is a bad thing…and in this case would burn as much coming out as it did going in. I think I failed to stir up the existing spices in the food pack because things got fiery quick. Just what I needed, to sweat more.

Still, the stove worked great, dinner was hot (in every sense) and daylight was fading. Before I left, I had rented and downloaded a movie to my phone. I am so glad I did this. All of that quiet solitude was beginning to take its toll.

I sat at the picnic table and fired up Batman Begins on my phone. The picture was great but the sound was way too faint. Need to remember to take headphones next time. After awhile I felt strange about sitting in the dark, by myself, watching a movie at a picnic table.

So I set up my blue max collapsible camp chair in the tent, closed the screen to keep the bugs out and settled down to finish the movie. I really thought that I would go to bed early. To my surprise I watched the whole movie and was not tired in the least. Once the movie ended, I crawled onto my airmattress (worked great by the way).

Sleep was impossible. Part of the problem was open and airy nature of my tent.  I could see everything around me. It was very much like sleeping outside.

But the real reason I couldn’t sleep was the damn frogs. The chorus of frog tenors was bad enough but every once in awhile a frog in the tree above me would say (in frog of course) “YOU AWAKE BRO? YOU AWAKE? YOU AWAKE BRO? YOU AWAKE? YOU AWAKE BRO? YOU AWAKE? YOU AWAKE BRO? YOU AWAKE? YOU AWAKE BRO? YOU AWAKE?”

Me (Yelling to the darkness):”Shut the **** up Kermit or I swear to the god of noisy ****in’ frogs that I will climb that tree and put a boot one mile up your waterproof ass!”

[Awkward silence]

The Frog: “YOU AWAKE BRO?”

With uncommonly good forethought, I brought along some ear plugs. In they went. They were moderately comfortable and really cut the noise. I managed to sleep for a little while. Then I woke up, remembered that I was alone in the pitch black woods and promptly had a panic attack. This only happened about three times.

It was also too hot at one point to breathe. I had to drink some of the ice water that I had saved for the morning just to cool down a couple of degrees. My skin felt like someone had coated me in cooking oil and let it dry.

Long about 1:00, I grabbed my shoes and headed out to use “the restroom”. After that, I slept until about 7:30 in the morning. Not the best kind of sleep though. It reminded me of the kind of sleep you get on an airplane: adequate but not really all that pleasurable. Still, I think this will get better the more I tent camp. After all, it’s been years.

First priority upon waking, bathroom trip. Unfortunately it was daylight so the au natural approach was out. I put on my hiking boots and a pair of shorts and climbed on the bike. Riding in nothing but a pair of shorts is very liberating. Even at 10MPH the air was wonderful. I instantly felt better. Into the very hot bathroom to pee and wash up and then back to camp.

Then, coffee. Out with the stove again. This stove is called….wait for it….’the pocket rocket’.  It sounds like a jet engine and boils water in less than one minute. I had some folger’s instant with all the trimmings. Need to remember the Starbucks instant next time as it is so much better. Camp coffee is one of those beautiful small things that should be enjoyed as much as possible. Still, I kept thinking about what a pain in the ass it would be to pack up.

Camphost came back by to check on me. He asked “Were you too hot to sleep?” Which I translated to mean “Did last night teach your dumb ass not to camp in August?”. My answer to both meanings was “No, not really”.

We chatted about bikes, computers and the old days for a bit and he headed off “To get tacos in town”.

I whipped up some dehydrated juevos rancheros for breakfast. It was okay but the beans never fully hydrated. Made for some crunchy eggs. I think we can all agree that crunchy eggs=something very wrong. Choked it down though.

Then it was time to pack. I figured this would take about 30 min. I was pretty close. It took 2 full hours from breakfast to saddle. I should say though that I packed as if I would be camping again that night. Everything put away nice and neat.

The bike looked great. Seeing it packed with everything I needed to survive was a moving experience. 

I don’t care what kind of bike you have, a packed motorcycle screams to be ridden. Now!

So I did. Reverse directions on the GPS got me in the general direction of home. Nice ride home with no traffic and no surprises.

So I did it. Made the whole trip without the bags falling off, being murdered in the middle of the night, or dying of heat stroke, wasp allergy or bike crash. And I'm hooked now. It felt glorious. Total reliance on my motorcycle, planning skills and camping experience.

I must admit to some unexplained sadness at times throughout the trip. I couldn’t understand it. Was I sad because the trip was short? Was I sad because it was the end of my first try? Was I missing my wife and kids (yes, terribly). Was I just lonely. Did I want a friend along? Had to be all of these reasons I guess.

Still, on the way home I realized that while this trip was only supposed to be a first stab at road life, I had learned most of the skills and gathered most of the items I would need to go anywhere for a few days. Great, ready to go with only a year to wait until the big ride (South Padre Island, Tx to Key West, Fl). The months stretched out in front of me like a desert and I yearned to be embarking on a great journey. The 80 mile ride back home just didn’t seem to fit what I had done…or would do. I think this was the main source of the sadness and I feel it still.

“Did you bring all that **** on the bike?”

The title is a direct quote from the Park host when they saw my camp.  

This post was from 8/14, the day before the ride:

==

Okay so that wasn’t so bad.

Managed to get everything on the bike.  It took a hell of a long time and I was a bundle of nerves but I must admit the end result looks pretty good.

This may not be what the designers had in mind

 Here is a list of everything that is shoved into two saddlebags and two 40 Liter dry bags.

Charger-12V to USB, Charger-110V to USB, coffee, creamer, gatorade powder or drink mix, MREs, dish soap, splenda, light blanket, skeeter spray, sunscreen, ear plugs, brush or comb, cologne, deodorant, razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, air mat, towel, tent, tent footprint, Stakes Hammer, Stakes, Paper towels, extension cord, bandanas, allen wrenches, crescent wrench, duck tape, electrical tape, fuses, inflator, tireplug kit, wire, wire ties of different sizes, diags, needle nose pliers, screwdrivers, metric ratchet set, pliers, chair, cup, flashlights, tentlight, Trash Bags-Lawn, Ziploc Bags small, Ziploc Bags large, camp stove, fire starter, camp stove fuel, lighters, mess gear, boxers, jeans, paperback book, shorts, socks, t-shirts, coke, Hat, Tie Downs, fishing rod and tackle, backpack, Charger- Phone USB, water, kickstand plate, Bait,

I did a test ride where I cycled through the following steps; Ride a little faster, check gear.

Managed lots of starts and stops with a top speed of 65 on 290.  My gear did not shift an inch and the saddlebags look like they are holding up to the weight.

Mission Accomplished?

I need to go over the list to check for a few remaining items though I’m not sure where the hell they would go.  I left everything packed and strapped to the bike.

It’s not the weight I worry about.  All my stuff doesn’t weigh but about 60-80 lbs.  My son weighs that much and he moves around much more than the gear.  The bike just feels very top heavy.  It was an adjustment.  The test ride last night will go a long way to easing my anxiety for the first few miles.

Next Post:  Ride report for first camping trip.

Pre-Trip Anxiety

I wrote this one on 8/14, two days before my first camping ride up to the Sam Houston forest.  It reminded me of what the last two days before the renaissance festival used to be like.

===

Two days away from first camping ride.

Holy. Shit.

The BAD

How can one person need so much shit to be comfortable for one fucking night.  I have filled both saddlebags and two 40 liter drybags and I still haven’t packed water yet.

No to mention that the drybags will be strapped to the passenger seat like a dead deer.  Is this safe?  Will these damn things shift during the ride?  If I hit the brakes will I be hit in the back of the head with 40 lbs worth of drybag at 50 mph?

Oh shit.  Where the hell is the fishing rod box going to go?

I only have one evening left to engineer and test all of this.  How did I run so low on time?

I haven’t even mounted the goddamn phone to the handlebars yet.  Will that even work?  Just got off the phone with my headset manufacturer and they had exactly dick in the way of help for my volume problem.

I haven’t tested the saddlebags with this much weight.  Will they even hold?  The right one moves around a lot.  I wish I had time to stabilize it a little more.

I’ve pulled too much time away from the family already just by eking 10 minutes here 10 minutes there.  Not to mention that I’m going to be gone for a whole evening simply because “Daddy is working on something”.  I feel really shitty about it.  Am I going to be guilt ridden the whole night to the point where I won’t even enjoy myself?

Just like always, I tried to do everything in the first fucking go round. Dammit.  Being at work sucks right now.  I just want to go home and get started with the prep.  I need to be doing something!!!!

The NEUTRAL

I’ll have some time when I get home tonight to figure out the last few details.  I have done a tremendous amount of shopping, planning and engineering in just a few weeks.

The GOOD:

Everything from my camping list is actually on the bike. This has gone from a learning ride to a “dry run with all the gear” ride.  I could literally stay gone for several days with the gear I have on hand.  That means I’ll probably have to buy very little for the big trip next year.  I might add a sissy bar bag for more food and water though.

It all looks fairly professional.  The drybags stack pretty high but I have a plan for tying them down well. 

This looks like a good fishing lake too.  I’m pretty sure I’ll catch (and release) some blue gill or catfish at least.

All of this bodes very well for the Gulf ride.

Ride Route and Story Time

I finished the rough route map.  It looks like this:

This is kind of an old map.  The new individual route maps have me much closer to the coast in Florida.

Here is how it all breaks down:

I need to add another column for Lodgings.  It looks at least 3 of the nights will be in a State Park.

Hotel nights for South Padre, Galveston and New Orleans (of course) and possibly Tampa.

State Park nights for:

Corpus Christi: Mustang Island (outside of Chorpus)

Mustang Island State Park

Panama City

St Andrews State Park

Key Largo.

John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park

The state parks look like real shitholes right? ;-)

Two days before the start of the trip I am going to drive a truck and trailer to Miami and then fly home.  After the ride, me and the family will drive up the East coast of Florida because my wife tells me there might be some things the kids would like to do there.  ;-)

Enough logistics, story time…

I close my eyes and I imagine a scene 15 years in the future…

Somewhere outside a west Texas roadhouse in March, a husband and wife and their two children (late teens, early twenties) stand beside their motorcycles.  The older man and woman are on a big, heavy BMW sport bike with knobby tires.  The young woman is by her yellow BMW F800GS and the young man is by his black Ducati Diavel.

The three are stripping off riding gear in order to get a late lunch inside.

Son: “Dad, your back tire’s flat”

Dad: “Oh shit, so it is”

Daughter:  “You guys promised to let me do the next one”

Mom: “You did promise”

Son: “I don’t remember promising anything”

Daughter: “Bullshit!”

Son:  “Fine, you can plug the damn tire”

Daughter: “Thank you”

Dad:  “Do you know what to do hon?”

Daughter:  “You’ve showed me a dozen times.  Just let me do it.”

Dad:  “Right.  We’ll be inside.  Can I order you something to drink?

Daughter: “Bud Light”

Mom:  “Try again, we’re not done yet.”

Daughter: “Coke”

Ten minutes later, the young woman finishes up and heads inside.  After lunch, the three return to their bikes.

Dad: “Right, on to Colorado then.  Just two more hours.”

He begins putting on his riding gear.  The young man starts to inspect the tire but stops as the older man taps him on the lower back and shakes his head.  The young man nods.  The young woman doesn’t see any of this.  The older man and woman climb on the sport bike

Daughter:  “You aren’t going to check it”

Dad: “No need”

Daughter: “Thanks.”

Dad: “’Course.  Shall we then?”

All three start up their bikes and head out onto the highway with the couple in the lead.  The young man on the Ducati lifts his front wheel off the ground for about 100 feet.  The older man pretends not to see it in the rearview but smiles inside his helmet.

Bug Innards are Just Damn Gross

Upon seeing my motorcycle for the first time, a good friend of mine said, “I wouldn’t have gone with the p*ssy windshield”.  I was wounded.  I had to stop and question my man quotient.

Here is the thing.  Rock chips and gravel at 95….I mean 65 MPH, hurt.  Not to mention that a good headwind at 95…I mean 65 MPH will throw your ass around.  When you are young, these things matter less.  When you are 40 with back and shoulder challenges, you want all the help you can get.

…and then there is this to consider

Q: Whats the first thing that goes through bug's
mind when he hits a windshield?
A: His ass!  hahahaha

Seeing that my windshield is pretty small, it didn’t protect me from all of this bug’s...being. It did block a good half-pound of it though.

So, “P*ssy or not” (that might be a good name for a band), I use a windshield.

In fact, I am considering adding a much larger windshield (like I said, some of the guts came around the current 'shield).

Here is what I have in mind:

• Memphis Shades Fats 21” clear windshield
• Trigger lock mounting system

I would get the one that is all clear (no blue at the bottom).

I’m not crazy about the looks but it would be sooooo much more comfortable.  With the riding I want to do, comfort is definitely key.  Plus, if I get the quick release hardware (Trigger Lock mounts), I can pull the damn thing off whenever I want. 

It would also get rid of the current windshield’s ugly black brackets that mount to my handlebars.  The whole set up would be about 350 bucks and it doesn’t look like I would need to relocate my front blinkers. 

Oh, and for all of those that question the manliness of having a windshield, I would remind you of these macho, magnificent bastards.

No windshield could block this much sexy

So there!  Boom!